I must be high...

Image used with permission. Original can be found here: [link]

For the sake of practicality, I am doing both of the latest chapters right away.

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Bleach 434

-Yuzu, STILL a spirit wannabe, follows Don Kanonji still.
-Makes me wish she could see how horrible the spirit world actually is.
-Oh, and Karin has boobs now.
-Karin: Go to bead already.
-Yuzu: NO U
-Karin: I have things to do. Mysterious things, which I am going to be evasive about so I can provide foreshadowing or something. Don't worry, I'll be back before Ichigo is.
-Yuzu: THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH ICHIGO AND I DEFINITELY AM NOT LUSTING AFTER HIM! I AM TOTALLY NOT WORRIED.
-Karin: Whatever. Hey, WHAAAT?
-Ichigo: I am home now.
-You know, for a guy who ISN'T a delinquent, he sure acts a lot like it. You'd think he would at least call home and say he'd be late or something.
-Ichigo: Get to bed. I need some me time with my playboy magazines.
-This chapter bores me already.
-...and that's one very ”WTF?” chapter cover, with chibi Karin and Yuzu hopping around, because they feel like it. How RELEVANT.
-AT SOME POINT IN TIME LATER:
-Ichigo: OK, what now? You interrupted my me time!
-Which would explain the grumpy face.
-Aizenclone: Yet you came here so willingly, because you are my bitch.
-Ichigo: STFU and give me my training, dickwad.
-He's so personable and tactful, our hero.
-They WILL train in a spacious area!
-Lolibitch and her dollhouse makes an appearance. Maaaan... look at those legs, and those boots. Kubo likes the Fetish Fuel.
-Ipod kid: Hey Rukia- I mean RIRUKA- could you stop opening the door with your foot when you're wearing miniskirts? I am gay, and seein women's panties is kind of disturbing to me.
-Lolibitch: Who the f**k do you think I am, you video game dick? I AM THE JUGGERNAUT, BITCH!
-Lolibitch has isssues and insecurities you can smell from miles away. Like Hiyori, but amped up to eleven. When you go for originality in a recycled character deisgn, always exaggerate thecharacter traits! That makes it more unique!
-Ipod kid: What was that? My mind filters out bitching, so I didn't hear anything.
-Lolibitch: MOTHER F-
-Nice Ass Girl: Surprise butt secks!
-Lolibitch: OH NO U DONT!
-Nice Ass Girl: Chill the fuck out and explain that damn box then, so we can get to torturing Ichigo.
-Lolibitch: Well, GET THE FUCK OVER HERE SO WE CAN START TRAINING, YOU ASS!
-Ichigo: What up wiuth the yelling?
-Much like with King Leonidas of ”300”, you get the feeling that every single line she has is shouted at the TOP OF HER LUUUUUUUNGSSSS Now, if we could only get a pit of death to kick Ichigo into...
-Lolibitch: ACTUALLY JUST STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE.
-Lolibitch is not a very good teacher.
-Behold: THE DOLLHOUSE! Now, if only it was as cool as the TV series of the same name starring Eliza Dushku...
-Lolibitch: Behold this box! Cute, innit?
-Yes, that was my first though. Cute.
-AAAAND, it doubles as a training facility. What the deuce?
-Ichigo:
-At least he didn't pull the shockface.
-Lolibitch: My fullbring is... DOLLHOUSE! If I think something is cute or awesome, I can freely insert people in it!
-I knew fullbring was LAME, but this...
-The tiny little heart lands on Ichigo, who now has permission to enter...
-Ichigo: What is this supposed to beeeeeeeeeqaaaahazhah
-So... she can just suck anyone in to that dollhouse if she lands a hit with that heart? GODMOD!
-Also, I notice we're seeing quite a lot of Lolibitch's boobs. That's the third close up panel this chapter where we see very clearly that she is indeed a woman, only with the stature and temper of a loli bitch. Well, at least her aren't oversized, unlike SOME people I could mention...
-Ichigo: What the hell, man?
-BEHOLD! The one creature as feared and shrouded in myth as the Cthulhu itself: MANBEARPIG!
-Well, more like care bear pig. Whether this is lamer or worse I leave up to you.
-The evil spawn of satan care bear pig is ALIVE, too.
-Lolibitch: Cute, huh?
-I'll be seeing it in my nightmares.
-Ichigo: Cute my ass! WTF is this shit?
-Lolibitch: Beat it!
- Just beat it! Ta naa na na naa! No-one wants to be defeated!
-Riruka: You have to beat it, that is your training! It's easy if you use fullbring!
-Which he has had no training in, ever, doesn't understand, and never used before even once. You'd think he at leas would get a theory class. Lolibitch is NOT a good teacher.
-Ichigo:
-I like Ichigo's wtf face much better than the shockface.

Chapter 435:

-Pigzilla: OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHH!
-Ichigo: OH SSHIIIIIEEEETTTT
-...what the eff. Just, WHAT THE EFF. Did I smoke some weed earlier today and forgot about it?
-It's been pointed out in debate (can't remember where) that this is bleach returning to its urban fantasy roots, which is supposedly a good thing. Well, in case you all forgot, those roots SUCKED. The entire first season of bleach was boring. It only got good when it became more typically shonen, in the soul society arc... which also ruined the series. Urban fantasy SUCKS.
-Pigzilla strikes!
-...wow, this is just so... not scary. Or exciting. Seeing this makes me feel like I had Dull for breakfast, with a side helping of Bore.
-”Panic at the dollhouse”. Yeah, way to make a pun.
-Okay, people: Ichigo is set up to try and beat a strong foe, using a power he's never even tried to use before. He has no powers, and is seriously at a disadvantage. Logically, this means his chanvces of succes are 100% since he is a shonen portagonist. Conditions don't get much more ideal in a fight.
-Lolibitch: Fight like a man, will you?
-Big strong MEN eat Pigzillas for breakfast. Funny how you never hear anyone say ”fight like a woman!”.
-Ichigo: GET THE FUCK REAL BITCH I HAVEN'T EVEN UNDERSTOOD THE DAMN PROCESS YET WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?
-Seriously. Even with the vizards, training was kind of professional. This feels more like Aizenclone thought ”Hey, who is the least qualified to teach, but will inflict the most suffering on Ichigo for our entertainment? Riruka!”
-Expository dialogue!
-Lolibitch: This is my fullbring! Now, to explain... fullbring is a power of LOVE!
-I KNEW IT.
-Lolibitch: If you love something enough, it will become your weapon! Take sleazebag oiver there, who has a small dick and only loves big swords! Unlike him, I have a way more sophisticated and creepy way of killing people! I love a ton of things, and I want to die being crushed by them!
-Not making that last line up. Seriously.
-Lolibitch: Now that I gave you permission to enter, you're stuck in there! Now, expository dialogue over!
-Pigzilla attacks again. Conveniently, he is too clumsy to land a hit.
-Lolibitch: Use fullbring already!
-Ichigo: WHAT THE HELL I thought this was supposed to bring back my SHINIGAMI powers!
-That, and adding a fuckload of powers you never earned.
-Lolibitch: STFU AND DO AS I SAY, MAGGOT!
-Aizenclone *totally enjoying this * Man, you are so totally cruel and shit.
-Ichigo: This is bullshit! Give me a hint, at least!
-Lolibitch: Hint? We can use fullbring since birth, you idiot, it's intuitive!
-Well, most fullbringers aren't mentally retarded like Ichigo.
-Lolibitch: UR STOOPID
-Pigzilla: I CAN HAS STEREOTYPICAL PUNK ACCENT?
-Lolibitch: I stuck a yakuza in Mr Piggy! 8D
-...she stuck a real life living person in a stuffed animal and keeps him trapped in that dollhouse for her amusement. What the HELL.
-Pigzilla: I Have to kill you, or I'm stuck in this weird animal forever!
-Lolibitch: What are you calling WEIRD, you ingrate? *Karate CHOP! *
-Lolibitch is one sick puppy.
-Lolibitch: Okay, advice over. Kaythxbai.
-Ichigo: NNUUUUUUOOOOOOOO
-Lolibitch: Put the damn tea on! I want the GOOD shit!
-Now I am SURE I smoked some crack and forgot about it.
-Nice Ass Girl: Is he gonna suffer?
-Aizenclone: Hell yes.
-Pigzilla: IMA FUGGIN KILLYA WIT MAH STEREOTYPE ACCENT!
-HOW? He doesn't have any claws, or even fingers. What's he gonna do, crush him dead?
-Ichigo: Time for an inner monologue! Now to figure óut the fullbring at the last moment, and master it in five minutes, just like I did my shinigami powers!
-That's how it's going to go, I swear. I'll stake my reputation on it.
-Nice Ass Girl: If you worry so much, why not go help him?
-Lolibitch: HELL NO I ISN'T WORRIED!
-Methinks she doth protest too much.
-Nice Ass Girl: But you have a timer on it, right? Won't it run out?
-You know what strikes me? I bet Ichigo ends up with Riruka in the end. That way, Kubo would troll BOTH the IchiHime and IchiRuki camps at the same time.
-Mexican Guy appears again. I had forgot how hideous his outfit is.
-Mexican Guy: What up with the box?
-Nice Ass Girl: Riruka is training him.
-Mexican Guy: OMFG NOT MY UKE!
-Lolibitch: He needs the tough love, so STFU.
-Mexican Guy disapproves.
-Mexican Guy: ICHIGO! USE YOUR REPRESENTATIVE BADGE, I BET THAT WILL HELP!
-Ichigo: Yeah what the hell, I have no better ideas.
-And he gets by with a little help from his friends... JUST IN TIME 8D
-TIME UP. BERSERKER PIGZILLA ACTIVATED.
-I feel sorry for that yakuza guy.
-Ichigo:
-Pigzilla IS the amazing hulk!
-Tessaiclone: Well, looks like the timer went out.
-Yeah, no SHIT Captain Obvious.