Lagoon of the dead, pt. 2

Getting back to the Lagoon headquarters had never felt like such a relief for Eda. The oppressive silence in the ride home had unnerved her; it had felt like she was sitting on a trunk full of nitro-glycerine about to blow. Rock had been glaring out the window as if the world in general had kicked his puppy, and what was creepier was Revy and that huge grin on her face. She had never seen her smile like that, keep quiet, and see it end peacefully.

Then again, Revy had just murdered the hell out of a dozen or so infectees, and there were no cops to stop her, so hopefully the young sociopath had had her fill of violence for the day. Hopefully.

She sighed to herself. She had been forced to part with one of her dearest possessions in this world; namely a briefcase filled with money. She had two more with her, but still… well, at least she didn't have to worry about protection any more. The Lagoon crew was bad-ass, everyone in Roanapur knew it, and soon enough they'd be on their merry way out to some safe zone, preferably a tropical island with Margaritas and tanned pool boys wearing leather thongs for work…

She was abruptly torn from her increasingly lewd fantasies of young attractive men, as the car stopped as smoothly as a bull in a china shop. Getting out, Eda dragged her luggage with her, in to the Lagoon headquarters. She considered asking Revy or Rock for help, but thought better of it. Best not to stir a powder keg that's already close to going "boom".


Revy slammed the door open.

"We're back."

"'Bout time you show up." A highly familiar and heavily accented voice echoed through the room. "We thought psycho dead freaks make you all disappear."

"Well paint me green and call me a turnip." Revy chuckled as she grabbed a beer and looked off to where the doorway had blindsided her view to the left side of the headquarters. Standing in a corner was Shenhua, Rotton the Wizard, and Sawyer the Cleaner. Sawyer and Shenhua both were covered in blood and ooze. Rotton smelled of gunpowder, and was noticeably short of ammunition.

"What are you doing here, chinglish?"

Benny, who was on the couch reading a newspaper and drinking beer turned his head to look over his shoulder and address the situation.
"They showed up about ten minutes after you left. I figured you or Dutch would be better at deciding what to do with them. The wise unarmed man doesn't negotiate with a person more well-armed than a soldier on parade."

"Glad I got here first then," Revy was aglow. "Dutch is too soft when it comes to negotiations."

While that wasn't entirely true, when compared to Revy, letting Dutch handle a negotiation when the circumstances were pay up or die would be the same as comparing a minor purse snatching to a full on jewel heist.
"So I take it you three are like Eda here?"

"Word on street is, Lagoon Company making evacuation for Hotel Moscow. We thought we hitch ride and escape to safe haven with everyone else." Shenhua said.

"Yeah? Well, you better have some cash on you, because this ain't no Sunday cruise." Revy said as she cracked the lid on the can of her beer.

"Starting offer?" Rotton asked.

"How much you got?" Revy asked.

Rotton just sighed, and laid the suitcase sitting down next to him on its side with his foot, before kicking it over to Revy.

"He may be too idealistic for his own good sometimes, but he make calculated decision to take what we could from mobster house and put them in suitcase he take with him from hideout." Shenhua explained.

"I left the credit cards and other personal belongings. Those things were human once so I just took the cash out of the wallets and safes. I figured Lagoon would expect payment up front." he added.

"Well aren't you just a fucking saint?" Revy said, mocking the white haired gunman.
Opening the suitcase, she was rather disappointed to see it not packed to the max.
"There can't be more than seventy-five grand here!" she snorted.

"Taking advantage of people in need?" Rotton complained.

"Look we don't run a fucking charity here. If this is all you can come up with then you have until the count of ten before I kick you out," Revy told him.

"Look, that's everything we have. You want more?" Rotton asked.

"Everything you have. Why don't I believe you?" Revy said with a smile that would have made Hannibal Lecter proud. "Rock, pat 'em down."

"Oh, give them a break." Rock retorted. He was still trying to digest the absurdity of the situation, and the little stunt Revy had pulled before still had him unnerved, testy. "You're already getting a big fat paycheck from Balalaika, and we could use some-"

"You're a pussy, Rock. In a situation like this, any leverage we got should be squeezed for everything it's got. They got more on them, I know it, and they'll pay up, or else."

"Last I checked, you didn't call the shots around here. Gonna try and take Dutch's position now?"

"Why don't you watch your fucking mouth, you little cunt?" Revy said, pushing her forehead up against Rock's, glaring him right in the eye. "I got no problem putting a bullet in your face if you're gonna be a sissy about this."
True to her word, Revy pushed the muzzle of her cutlass into Rock's neck, facing upwards. A push of the trigger, and it would go up through his jaw and into his brains.

Very few people would have done much other than whimper at this point, but Rock was not most people, and he had a pretty good Revy-oriented bullshit radar.

"Go ahead. I dare you."

"I'll do it."

"Pussy."

"Children, play nice." The cool, smooth, slightly accentuated voice had an instant effect on the entire room. Shenhua, Rotton and Sawyer instantly tried to look as if they were part of the furnishings. Eda decided that keeping quiet was the best course of action, and sat herself down at a chair, trying her best to look harmless.
Revy backed off, holstering her cutlass, and Rock- breathing a sigh of relief- turned to look at the new arrival.

There was no mistaking that elegant voice, which brought to mind a beautiful spring stream filled with razors: Balalaika had arrived, and she was flanked as always by her sergeant, as well as a number of Vysotniki.

"Revy, is this really a good time to be threatening to kill your boyfriend? There's a time for everything, but I do think you would find he's more worth to you alive in the middle of a zombie apocalypse."

"He's not my boyfr-" Revy began, but decided to shut up. Balalaika had a face on her like her dreams had come true, and her boots and the rims of her pants were soiled with blood. She was in uniform now, much unlike the elegant business woman's suit she usually wore. A Dragunov- the so-called balalaika sniper rifle- and an Avtomat Kalashnikov -47 hung strapped to her back, and they looked as if they had been used recently.
She had declared war on everything opposing her, Revy realized, so staying on her good side might be best.

"So sis, can I get you anything? Beer?"

"Just water, please. And don't be so greedy. Your boyfriend is right, your ship will need a few extra hands."

"I'll get it." Rock was more than eager to get away from the slowly growing group of merciless killers, plus Rotton.

Revy sighed and rubbed the side of her head, "All right, fine. We'll take the deal, but you guys are on maintenance duty. What you lack in funds you make up for by being useful."

"Hey, I no housewife!" Shenhua jeered.

"No worries, I'll take care of it. You two can save your energy for all the fighting," Rotton volunteered.

Revy laughed heartily. "Now there's a guy who knows exactly what's expected of him. I like that. Chinglish, where'd you find this guy?"

"Oh, he find us actually. And he may seem cool, but he not all that great in fight. Sawyer and me make more killings than him on way here. I tell him before, he be better at pimp then gunman." Shenhua retorted.

"Well that still makes him more useful than your last partner." Revy chuckled.
At that moment Rock came back with Balalaika's water.

"So sis, where's the rest of your group?" Revy asked.

Balalaika swallowed her drink and then said, "Dutch is helping them all pack our supplies and whatnot in the boat."

"So why the evacuation, exactly?" Rock inquired, "I mean I've seen things getting back, but for you to be evacuating your whole team means things must really be going to hell fast."

Balalaika pulled out a cigar and lit it. She puffed out a cloud of smoke before answering.

"Judging by your refugee from the ripoff church I a, guessing that you've seen what it's like out there, so you know that things are already pretty bad. My boys and I had to clear out practically half the city getting here. I've learned a few things during the outbreak."

"Care to share?" Rock requested.

"Of course," Balalaika said, taking another puff. "First off, those things are respondent to sound. One gunshot," Balalaika clapped her hands, "And all of those creeps in the general area will be drawn to the noise, so make sure you don't miss. Second, they're blind. If you're real quiet, and they don't notice you, you can walk right past them without being in any danger."

"How'd you figure that out?" Rock asked.

"I had my suspicions when I saw their rotting eyes in my scope, and Dutch was willing to test my theory." Balalaika answered.

Rock gulped. The more likely scenario was that Balalaika had convinced Dutch to volunteer and Rock couldn't help but wonder how she had managed to strong arm Dutch into volunteering for something like that. After all, Dutch was helping the Vysotniki evacuate.

"So..." Rock managed to get out after getting over the shock of Balalaika's last statement, "anything else?"

"Only what's been observed on the vids. You get bitten, you become one of them. No exceptions, no second chances. The transformation may not be immediate, but it will happen. All that considered, I'm not allowing my men to become victims of this disease. It's as simple as that." Balalaika answered.

"I hear where you're coming from," Revy spoke up, "Those things are virulent enough, but having access to on hand ammunition plus armour and we'd be in a fucking jam for sure."

Balalaika steady glance at Revy told the dual wielder it was best if she not make light jokes about her unit.


Eda was more than a little nervous now. She'd heard about the bites, how they turned people, she had even seen it up close- it was horrifying.
What confused her was how she had a carefully concealed bite more than two days old, and she didn't feel the least bit different. She had seen old Yolanda turn in less than a day, which had earned her a bullet between the eyes and a new, gilded hand cannon for Eda.
She herself had felt better after some beer and painkillers, and aside from a dull ache, she did not feel different at all. No nausea, no lack of consciousness, no vomiting her intestines out, no unstoppable desire to feast upon the flesh of the living…

And now, Balalaika was here. She was afraid of her. Everyone besides the other major crime bosses were. Those who weren't ended up dead or terrified soon enough, because you don't fuck with the Russians and live to tell the tale. Especially not if that Russian was Balalaika.

Now, if she was found out, she would be deader than Steve Irwin in a tankfull of stingrays. Best keep her head down as much as possible. That woman didn't mess around.


"So when're we leaving, sis?" Revy asked. "I'm good to go. Got my shit packed, my money stashed away. I wouldn't mind kicking some infected ass on the way, but this whole mess is just gross. The sooner we get out to sea, the better."

"Patience, Revy. The Vysotniki are still moving out; we leave when I get radio confirmation we're the last ones left."

"You're shitting me!"

"No soldier gets left behind. The Lagoon Company's job is simply to drive the getaway boat. Other than that I expect every matter involving my men to be left up to my discretion. Is that clear?"
Balalaika spoke with exceptional clarity and her voice void of any emotion. The tone of which showed that if Revy said one more thing out of line, the predator would soon become the prey.

The awkward silence in the room ended when Dutch entered from the side door entrance.

"Everything's packed up and ready to go. A couple of your men are straggling, but they said to give them no more than ten minutes. If they don't show up by then, we're to leave without them."

"I see," Balalaika said taking a puff of her cigar again.

"Two hands, since you're so eager for some action, mind going out and giving my boys a hand?" Balalaika requested.
Just as always, Rock had to be not unlike an ant facing down a dragon.

"Hey hold on just a second, you want Revy to go out there alone?" Rock questioned.

"I'll be fine. I'm not a pussy like you, Rock. I can handle myself. Let's go, Eda," Revy ordered.

"S-sure," Eda figured going out shooting flu victims with Revy was better than sticking around and hoping Balalaika didn't find out about the bite she was concealing.
Revy turned her attention to Rotton's group. "One of you comes along as well. If you're gonna make yourselves useful, you might as well start now."

The odd trio gave each other a look, and without a word being said, a furious, epic game of rock-paper-scissors began. It was amazing, Rock mused, how many times three people could manage to get the same symbol.
At long last, Rotton managed to win out, leaving the girls to one of the least exciting catfights in history. Eventually, Sawyer gambled on paper, and lost. Grumbling, she grabbed her chainsaw and got up, walking out the door along with Revy and Eda.

Rock stood by the door, hesitating. Finally mumbling a short prayer- "Fuck it all!"- he grabbed the lead pipe, and followed them out into the zombie infested area.

He almost lost them turning around a corner- he had to bash a stray infectee's head in on the way- and by the time he caught up, he wondered just where those soldiers would be. Had Balalaika sent them on a wild goose chase? Were they dead already?

No- the distinct bark of several AK-47 could be heard just down the street. Controlled bursts firing rapidly, with discipline far above normal hoodlums. Had to be them.
He looked around him. The infectees were everywhere, wandering about, but so long as they were more than thirty feet away, they didn't seem to notice them, so long as they kept moving. Occasionally, one would get too close, try to take a bite out of Revy, who had taken point, but apparently she had taken Balalaika's advice about guns seriously; she would cut down the zombies with a machete she had grabbed from their storage rather than relying on her cutlass special.

The group finally managed to get a clear visual of the stragglers. There were two of them, and even with the timely arrival of Revy, Rock, Eda and Sawyer, the group was outnumbered ten to one by the number of infectees swarming about. Of course numbers meant absolutely nothing when the few had enough firepower to turn a beached German world war two U-boat into an abstract piece of artwork in less than ten seconds.

"And cue the end of the silence," Revy said with a grin before whipping out her cutlass specials and opening fire. Following Revy's lead, Eda drew out the hand cannon she had taken from Yolanda.
Sawyer revved up her chainsaw and joined the fray, leaving Rock standing there, feeling like he may as well turn back while he still had the chance. The loud moan of a zombie attempting to ambush him from behind put an end to that option, and Rock, frantically an instinctively, bashed its head in before taking up arms against the horde.

The battle was simple, but the only problem was that the noise being generated from the discharge of the firearms, and Sawyer's chainsaw, was calling over more infected victims than there originally had been; many of the living dead that the quartet had passed on the way over were becoming attracted to the noise. Even so, the fight didn't take long, what with Revy and Balalaika's men mowing down the undead faster than a NASCAR racer finishing a single lap.

Revy was trigger-happy, letting loose into the oncoming horde with gleeful abandon, while Eda was making every shot count. Sawyer, on the other hand, had to close to her targets before giving them a taste of her chainsaw. Rock had to do the same as the chainsaw Lolita, but he was far less willing to get within close range of those creatures. Unlike the others, Rock still had a sense of fear. He wanted the undead to be put down just as much as the next guy, but that didn't detract from the fear he felt at get within biting range. He was not becoming one of them. He refused.

Swallowing down his fear, he lashed out at an infectee that had somehow evaded the gunfire long enough to close in. Its skull caved with a gratifying crunch, and though it might just have been adrenaline coursing through his veins, Rock felt a little better.
He wasn't much of a fighter, but he'd crush any stray zombie trying to get his companions from behind.


Usually in zombie fiction, humans are portrayed as powerless to resist an oncoming horde of undead, their nails and teeth ripping apart any unlucky survivor caught in the open. However, zombie fiction does not normally portray people who are as used to killing as they are to drinking hard liquor, and the difference showed. Within minutes, the bodies were piled up, zombies lying dead in droves.

Sawyer did a danse macabre with a grotesque, eerie beauty to it; she moved in a way that no rational person wielding a chainsaw should, but her wide, controlled swings kept the brunt of the oncoming infectees at bay, maiming and severing right and left.

Soon, all nearby zombies were dead or otherwise incapacitated. Revy turned to the two surviving soldiers.

"You the boys Balalaika sent us to pick up?"

"Kapitan sent you?" The first one, a tall, scarred man said in heavily accented English. "Thank god for that one. We were afraid she did not make it."

"Wait, are you two all that's left?" Rock cut in. He knew Balalaika valued her men, but risking their lives for two soldiers who were apparently doing fine so far?

"There three more was." The second one said, in barely understandable English. "Ilya- he take fall from roof. They eat him alive. Ivan- he save our lives from horde. Die hero. Kolya- he on ground over there. He get bite on arm, eats bullet. We all that's left. Everyone else, gone or dead."

"Well, we might as well get back then before Sis coerces Dutch into leaving without us." Revy said, holstering her cutlass specials. The was no disagreement.

The group made it back to Lagoon Company without much trouble aside from two straggling undead on the way back, swiftly dispatched by Revy's machete.  
Upon their arrival at headquarters, Dutch was bringing a bunch of stuff on board the boat with Rotton's help.

"Hey Dutch! I thought you got all of Balalaika's guys gear on board!" Revy called out to him.

"I did. This is our stuff. You guys were gone fifteen minutes. Five minutes ago Balalaika said she wanted to be ready to leave the moment you got back. Everyone else is already on board," Dutch answered.

His words were followed by a thunderous boom across the horizon. "Sounds like a storm's brewing." Eda commented.

"Yeah, and to make matters worse we need to cruise right into it. If it starts to get real bad, I'll signal for everyone to head below deck," Dutch stated.

"Wait. Is it really a good idea to head out to sea during a storm? What about the tide?" Rock asked.

"It's either that or wait another day with these freaks. Personally, I'll sooner take my chances with the storm." Eda responded to Rock's question.

"Not only that, but we're getting paid to go out tonight." Dutch reminded Rock. "So hop aboard so we can get going."

"Great," Rock lamented. He and the others got up onto the ship. Dutch pulled the boat out of the harbour, and then headed out. The sky began to darken with ominous storm clouds, and the wind began to pick up. Another boom of thunder echoed through the air.
Rock stood on the stern of the ship, wind blowing fiercely in his face. He saw the swaying palm trees as the torpedo boat passed by a small island. He watched Roanapur disappear from the horizon.
He heard approaching footsteps as Revy leaned over the side of the rail next to him.

"This really is some heavy shit, innit?" She said flatly, looking out over the ruined city of Roanapur. She wasn't the most articulate of people, but Rock felt her words summed up the situation better than any explanation. "Heavy shit" indeed.

Rock had a strange feeling in his gut. Not fear; he felt safe on the boat, but it was like a lump in his stomach gnawing at him. Roanapur, in all its decadent, fallen glory, had been a home to him once he had decided to abandon his stiff old life as an office rat, where his entire life had seemed to go as firmly in one direction as a railroad. Roanapur had changed that, Roanapur and Revy together, and now he might never see the town again.
He has never thought he'd feel nostalgic over this Sodom and Gomorrah, but he couldn't help himself.

"Yeah… heavy shit." He mumbled back.

"Cheer up, fuckwad." Revy said, but her tone was friendly. "We're makin' a shit ton of cash, and as soon as we're through that storm, we'll be perfectly safe, chilling at Sis' safehouse for a few weeks till this blows over."

Watching Roanapur burn in the twilight, Rock was not exactly uplifted. The city was quickly getting smaller, disappearing from his sight. He wondered why Revy was this friendly; she hadn't exactly been happy with him just a few hours earlier.
To himself, he swore. There was just no figuring this woman out!

At last, he replied:
"This isn't just going to 'blow over', Revy. It's the end of the world as we know it."

"And I feel fine." Revy said, shooting him a grin. "Look, don't sweat it- people like Sis, like us, we fuckin' prosper in times like these. We're hard. And when they rotters are all gone, only the real badasses will be left, and humanity'll be stronger for it. Besides, if you look at how fast they rot, they should be fertilizer in a month."

Rock opened his mouth to shoot back an angry retort, but stopped himself. She was making an unusual amount of sense. Gloomily, he looked out at the ocean.

Before long, Dutch's voice was heard:
"Everybody, get under deck. We got some rough weather ahead."