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The rarest pokemon

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Image used with permission. Original can be found here: [link]

Srsly gaiz, if there's any one problem you encounter: pokevolve. It doesn't matter iff you have to do it 45638212 times, because it ALWAYS. WORKS.

I realize this is overdue. Well, I'm not gonna make exuses- I've been sick fior three weeks, and *arbaros has been even sicker. I'm glad to have an image at all.
So, given the constant fevers, coughing and sneezing, and that Arbaros was sick too, I decided to skip last week's parody. To make up for it, I am doing both the latest chapters in this one, so have fun reading!b


Bleach 420 found here: [link]

Bleach 419:

-It takes Ichigo half a second to cut Aizen, and twenty seconds for reality to catch up.
-Butterflaizen’s WTF face is fucking HILARIOUS. Seriously, :iconaizenwtfplz: it’s like “this is bullshit, I’m outta here”.
-Ichigo: NOW LOOK WHO IS RUNNING FROM WHO 8D
-Elsewhere, fangirls are using this dialogue as yaoi fuel.
-Ichigo: Come on bitch, I’m talking to you. Why’re you running away from me, huh?
-Butterflaizen uses heal.
-Butterflaizen: Are you happy that you crushed my kido, withstood my OOC-ness, stopped my sword and all that shit? ARE YOU HAPPY NOW?!
-If you’re happy and you know it… :sing:
-Butterflaizen: MINE IS A LARGE HAM!
-Hammy: When an actor SHOUTS ALL THE TIME, FOR DRAMATIC VALUE. Like Leonidas in 300, who doesn’t have a single line that isn’t SHOUTED! AT THE TOP! OF HIS LUNGS! :icon300plz: Now ask yourself people, is this *really* the kind of thing Aizen should be doing?
-Butterflaizen decided to pokevolve again, since it worked so well last time. By bleeding through his forehead.
-Aizen turns into an elder god of some sort. Hi there, not quite Cthulhu!
-I got to admit, the wings look a lot less gay, and a lot more… well, nothing. This reminds me of Berserk.
-So… his goal was to turn into an especially fancy hollow? Covered in EYES? Who covers himself in eyes? That’s an ADDING of weak points! :iconzommariplz:
-New fancy hollow abomination Aizen: I love you hogyoko. I knew you wouldn’t let me be defeated by a mere human!
-Yeah. You’re totally not being controlled by the hogyoko, Aizen.
-Aizen tries the most basic hollow technique ever. WILL IT WORK? :iconelgaspplz:
-Tatsuki: Ichigo! And oh shit, why are we still here and not running?!
-The extra super special awesome superduper banana fana fudge-covered extra powered cero bomb DID succeed… in giving Ichigo that typical, half-dressed battle look that’s been in fashion since Goku started his career as half stripper, half superhero who saves the world.
-Aizen: As Exposition, I am obligated to tell you that my attack has disabled his left arm! Man, Gin was so much better at exposition. Oh well.
-Ichigo does not give a fuck.
-That NEVER bodes well, Aizen.
-Aizen: CAN YOU HEAR ME, ICHIGO? I’M ONLY RIGHT NEXT TO YOU, SO I AM GOING TO SHOUT TO MAKE SURE YOU HEAR ME! AND ALSO, I AM GOING TO CUP YOUR CHEEK IN A SLIGHTLY HOMOEROTIC WAY!
-New Aizen loves his CAPS.
-Aizen: BLAH BLAH BLAH YOU SUCK NOW BLAH BLAH IT IS OVER!
-Ichigo: Yeah, as if. Now get down and lick my boots clean.
-Ichigo has a new bish face, something that will ensure fans in female circles regardless of Sue levels.
-Ichigo: OK, we’re ending this right now. I’m sick and tired of your fucking logic, you butterfly man… thing!
-Why Ichigo, I am sick and tired of YOUR logic, but nobody calls you out on it.
-Ichigo: I SHALL SHOW YOU THE FINALL FORM OF EPICNEZZ!


Bleach 420:

-Ichigo: Time to show you the ultimate showdown of ultimate destiny superpower of coolness!
-Boy howdy, ultimate Getsuga SUUURE must be special. It better be, considering this is the final boss fight.
-Yeah, I’m not getting my hopes up.
-Mandatory battle aura powerup is mandatory.
-Aizen: WTF is this shit?
-Yes, WTF IS this shit?
-Like the whoring little tease he is, Kubo puts in… a FLASHBACK! :iconuncoolplz:
-Hollowgetsu turns Ichigo’s sword into mincemeat.
-Hollowgetsu: Damn it, just FALL already. I’d be a much better protagonist.
-Ichigo: Nuh-uh, not gonna. Now teach me that special deus ex machina technique!
-Hollowgetsu: FUCK U :iconfuckyouplz:
-Ichigo realizes that he’s so failtastic, his own sword could easily kill him. Mental dialogue ensues.
-Ichigo: Meh, might as well give up. *drops sword*
-Hollowgetsu: OMFG you let me stab you!
-Ichigo: Well, experience have taught me that anything retarded I do will work, so long as I do it with the power of friendship. Plus, this totally doesn’t hurt OH MY SPLEEN
-Hollowgetsu is tearing up. Seriously. What the HELL was wrong with old Zangetsu, who had chest hair?
-Unsurprisingly, Hollowgetsu too has an obsession with protecting.
-Hollowgetsu: Oh, Ichigo! I wanted to tell you…
-Ichigo: I was the one you wanted to protect?
-Hollowgetsu: Well that too, but also: All those fucked up yaoi fanfics were true!
-IT IS OTP NOW.
-We are cut off just in time to NOT hear what super ultimate candy banana Getsuga does, since that’s SUCH good drama.
-Ichigo: The final Getsuga IS!
-*drumrolls*
-BECOMING GETSUGA!
-…wait, what? Would I be alone if I said I was confused as hell?
-And just look at that! That’s TOO COOL.
-And by too cool, I mean that it’s impossibly cool. Nothing that is actually cool looks THAT cool. Ichigo is way overdoing it. KUBO is overdoing it. I mean, that black longocat and sword? Pretty cool looking, enough to give even wangsty old Ichigo badass moments. This? What the HELL?
-One wonders why he feels the need to transform, since he has dominated the fight so far. Why not just cut Aizen’s head off and be done with it?
-Aizen: …
-Eldritch Abomination Aizen is not impressed.
-Here’s the first silver lining in forty chapters: Ichigo will lose his shinigami powers! Which again makes you wonder why he used it when he just didn’t have to.
-Of course, it’s a question of whether he’ll “lose” his powers like Ishida (for ten minutes, then back in the saddle when the plot calls), or if he’ll actually, you know, LOSE them.
-Aizen logic tells us that Ichigo is better at evolution than him. Somehow. We understand why Ichigo disses it.
-Aizen: I CAN SHOUT IN ANGER!
-Ichigo: MUGETSU, motherfucker.
-Once upon a time, Kubo made a main character named Akutabi Gamma. He fought with a huge ass CHAINSWORD while covered in BLACK FLAMES. He could catch bullets with his hand, and catch up to a train on a unipod. Seriously, WHY isn’t he the protagonist of Bleach? Then, I could ignore all this bullshit in favour of all the epic that would be going on.
-Because there’s no better way to end a chapter, stuff blows up. Blackly. Woo, scary.
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"MUGETSU, motherfucker." Seriously, we need more mains that do this every now and then.